just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
