i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
