I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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