I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
