i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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