No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
