I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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