I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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