so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
