you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
