I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
