I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
