3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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