guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
