I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
