Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
