i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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