is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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