shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Randomize
