Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
