tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
