just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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