I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
