wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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