I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize