I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize