if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize