I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
So I just went to clothing optional bar
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
