I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
She even gives head with a lisp.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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