im drinking this country out of the recession.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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