mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
