exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
