is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
