i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
