Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize