my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
so let's talk penis.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
