can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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