Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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