I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize