check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
