You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
