If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
