the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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