hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
