your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
