I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
