i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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