so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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