Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
