youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
