Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
