youre lurking in front of me
North Korea, Best Korea!
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
