Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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