This is not my ceiling
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
