I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize