Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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