we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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