so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
