Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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