yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Ladies don't puke and tell
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
