It's just like the Real World with babies
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
