he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
She bit a glass in half.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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