i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
