allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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