If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Fuck appropriateness.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
