Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
