I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
