oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
