JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
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