none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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